Friday, May 14, 2004

OK, so let me try to capture this thought about the Iraq war in terms of a metaphor that people in my part of the country might understand:

Your high school, BMFHSIT (*), has the biggest, baddest football team in Texas – hell in the whole world. A level 1-A high school across town, DOHCSFHHS (**), populated almost entirely with minority students, has somehow done something to piss off the principal and coach of your school. Your coach (Big Don) takes the team on the bus, drives to the DOHCSFHHS, and demands that they come out and play your team. The other school’s soccer team comes out and starts to play a game of soccer, (their football team was disbanded due to lack of interest). Your school hates soccer, and your football team is not really prepared to play a soccer game. However, since you came all this way, and the principal and coach still feel offended, the football team is ordered onto the soccer field to take on the opposing team in a soccer game – of course with all of their football pads still on.

The game is still pretty lopsided in your favor because your team has great athletes at every position. However, the other team scores a couple of goals, and worse, some of your players get injured. On top of that, DOHCSFHHS plays soccer without a clock. The winner is really the last team to leave the field, not necessarily the one who scores the most goals. BMFHSIT is not prepared to play soccer for days at a time. They want to go home. However, they do not want to give DOHCSFHHS the satisfaction of saying they won the game.

A large crowd from the other school has showed up to watch, and they boo everything that your team does (even though secretly a lot of the students from DOHCHFHHS would love to go to your large and very prestigious school).

Out in the parking lot, a small gang of thugs show up and knife one of spectators from BMFHSIT. This student, we’ll call him Nick, had come from across town to watch the game. The thugs were apparently minorities similar to the students in DOHCSFHHS.

What happens next defies explanation. Some of the students and parents from BMFHSIT, those seemingly with the most “school spirit”, want to go and shoot all of the students at DOHCSFHHS and burn the school down – to avenge the murder of Nick.

Does that capture the essence of what these right wing assholes are advocating or do I totally not get the picture.

* BMFHSIT - Best mother-----ing, high school in Texas
** DOHCSFHHS - Dinky, one-horse, chicken-shit, football-hating, high school

Shorter version

Your team is the state 5A football champs in Texas. You go to Puerto Rico and challenge them to a football game. Their soccer team comes out (they think you mean futbol). You decide to play them anyway. Some of your players get hurt. More of their players get hurt. One of the spectators is knifed by thugs in ski masks in the parking lot. The football fans back in Texas demand that Puerto Rico be nuked to avenge the killed spectator.

Does that about sum it up?